Jimmy Hoffa is not dead. He works at the National Enquirer with Elvis and Bigfoot.

I recommend you don't attend the wheat and chaff bonfire.

Bungee jumping is like suicide with strings attached.

If Jonah had gone to Yale,Instead of the gut of a whale,He'd have a diploma,A better aroma,And a nice little condo in Vail.

I have a Siamese twin cat. It's got 2 heads and 18 lives.

The fool has said in his heart: pass me another Everlasting God-Stopper, please.

I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap’n Crunch and I’d have to take a nap.

Wanted: Steel toed Bible thumpers to reach a monster truck mad world.

I've got a Siamese cat. It has 2 heads and 18 lives.